The best way I know how to get yourself into a winning position with someone else is to understand their perspective better than they do. “How can that be?” you say. It simply means putting yourself in their shoes so that you fully understand what they’re seeing, thinking, and feeling (except that you can be more objective than they can—they’re too close to it). That’s how prizefighters do it. They study their opponents until they “become” them. Then when they step into the ring with them, they know what to expect before it happens. They’re prepared. No surprises. That’s exactly what you need to do in life’s encounters. That’s your best shot at controlling and steering the outcome of a situation in your favor that I know of.
If I was nothing else, I was a master at studying people, their behavior and their habits. I already told you how much research I did on the background of my customers. Sometimes I thought I knew them better than they knew themselves before we ever met. Remember what I’ve said before to “Listen”. I told you to observe and listen with all your senses, not just your ears. A good rule of thumb to follow in life is, “Your ears will never get you in trouble. Your mouth is a different matter.” You will find that the top people in all professions are as skilled in listening as they are in talking. Get to know what makes people tick. I would first focus on their favorite topic: themselves. The more the prospect talks, the more they reveal about themselves to you.
If you do it right, you’ll learn things about your prospects that will help you steer things in the right direction—toward their comfort level. Making my customers feel better about their decision to buy from me was number one on my list. The more you understand about their needs and wants, the better equipped you’ll be to provide them with the right solution. This will enable you to build the foundation for a relationship that could last decades. If it’s a customer we’re talking about, you’re looking to close more than a sale. You want to open doors to servicing that customer for the rest of his or her life. That’s repeat business waiting to happen. Service them to death with LOVE!
The same holds true for personal relationships. They are the ones who energize the person within you and give you purpose each and every day you’re on this planet. They are the reason you do what you do. Never miss an opportunity to let them know that. You want to be remembered, respected, and loved for something you did in someone’s life that made a difference. Whatever that may have been, you were there for them. You made an impact. You’re a winner in their book. They’ll never forget you. Sadly, many relationships never get to this level when they could have or should have. Just ask me. Every Father’s Day, I think of that great void in my own life. But thank God there’s a Mother’s Day!